Toastmaster, actress and wedding celebrant extraordinaire Sonal Dave is back again to share some sold tips to help you write and perform a wedding day speech together!
That’s right, together. None of this speaking on behalf of women business. Let’s smash some of those gender norms.
But putting the gender discussion to one side for a moment – I’ve said many times on Nu Bride, public speaking isn’t for everyone, yet we can feel forced into roles that don’t necessarily serve us during our wedding day.
In the age of social media everyone can be a speaker – a presenter, but delivering a speech in-front of a live audience is NOT as easy as it looks and it can evoke great anxiety, even in the most confident and outgoing characters. SO, if you do want to make a speech and you want to change things up a bit and approach doing one together with the support of your beloved, this article is for you!
Read these fantastic tips to give you a public speaking confidence boost on your wedding day.
Over to Sonal!
It really is lovely when the couple do their speech together. It shows family, friends and guests that they are already a team – so first up – get organised!
Write a list
Now to make sure you have a great speech prepared you first need to find some time to get away and make those lists.
Think about the practicalities first: Who to thank, anything heartwarming or funny you want to say about each other to make your speech memorable. It’s always lovely to hear the highlight story of you and how you both met, or a defining or comical moment in your relationship, or how since meeting how you have grown together. Find the hook that you both believe in and start there.
Decide who should write it
Now that you have your lists, who should write the speech? There is no science to this. You can do it together but be prepared for “I don’t like that word but, I prefer however”. So if you do want to avoid the little bickering then one of you should put up your hand to draft it and the other reviews and edits. This is another way to build on how you are at working together as a team!
On writing it, mark up when to breathe and take a pause. (Nu Bride: Great tip, you will race through it and we speak faster when we are nervous so this will help you pace yourself and punctuate it!) Pausing, usually after saying something funny works well. This is a good point to also look at each other for reassurance.
Now the speech should not be led by one person and the other occasionally injecting in. Balance your roles and share your time and make sure that it is between 5-10 mins only. People have short attention spans. Doing it together and sharing the speaking time will definitely help to diminish those nerves that you will both have.
Do rehearse your speech in front of the mirror and get used to what you are going to say. There is nothing wrong with having your speech with you but its more interesting and engaging when you can engage and look at your family, friends and guests without standing there reading. (Nu Bride: PLUS rehearsing helps diminish nerves and get the speech “into” your body. You don’t have to memorise it – but rehearsing helps you feel familiar with the words you are saying).
Introduce yourselves as this is an easy way to release nerves as (hopefully) most people know who you are (Nu Bride” I should think so n’all!) and will find this amusing and by reflecting on your romance and memories you will be telling a story to your guests – perhaps one they haven’t heard before. People love stories.
Talk to each other
Don’t forget to talk to each other when speaking.
That will take away some of the pressure and nerves and if it helps, it is ok to hold hands, but remember if one of you is very nervous, then sweaty paws are in play (LOL! – Nu Bride: Sweat is OK!)
The most important tip is to enjoy giving your speech. It is your special day with all your loved ones – don’t panic.
Thank you to Sonal. Excellent tips on how to deliver a modern-day wedding speech. Have fun writing it together! For further information hop on over to Sonals website and for more tips on how to overcoming wedding day nerves – hop on over to this blog post.
Ps. If you missed Sonal’s introductory post on her inspiring and eclectic background as a popular female toastmaster and some of the barriers she has had to overcome to be one, you can catch up here.