Rounding up your RSVPs!!! Guest Post by Emma Woodhouse

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Hello my beauties.

Today: RSVP’s….I say no more. If I had to name one part of the wedding planning process that I have not enjoyed it would be chasing guests for RSVP’s and with as little as a few weeks to go for my own wedding we still have not had some responses. Needless to say this little topic is developing into a rather large gripe, so I thought I would get the talented and rather genius writer Emma Woodhouse to do a fabulous guest post to tickle us and to help you with your wedding RSVP’s. Emma is a uber talented freelance writer and the fabulous brains behind the Wedding Reporter (featured here on Nu Bride!) I utterly adore her writing style and hope you do too! Enjoy and please do leave a comment on the blog to share your experiences too! :o)

Over to you Emma!

Image source: Pinterest

Rounding Up Your RSVP’s

By Emma Woodhouse

It’s every bride’s biggest bugbear: you spend hours creating beautifully personal invitations or commission a gorgeous design from a brilliant stationer, only to find that the RSVPs you wait so breathlessly for fail to fall through your letterbox.

The malady of lazy wedding guests who fail to respond to a special invitation is not a new conundrum, but one that brides have battled with throughout the generations. As my grandmother would say, it’s simply a case of bad manners. In this day and age, people will try to pass it off as being too busy but they need to realise this isn’t a Facebook event invitation to a night out – this is a wedding.

I remember my brother and my husband’s sister both declined to send us an RSVP under the assumption that we knew that they would be there anyway because they’re family. That’s not the point. I am certain that had we NOT sent them invitations on the assumption that we knew they were going to be there (and saved ourselves ££’s in the process) then they would have felt hideously overlooked and left out.

So what can you do about this, short of sending threatening letters and turning up on wayward guests’ doorsteps to demand an explanation? Here are some thoughts I had on the matter:

1) Websites don’t work.

Allegedly having a wedding website that not only lists your wedding information but also has the ability for your guests to electronically RSVP by filling out a form have spectacularly failed in every instance I’ve seen. Wedding guests become like lemmings for some unknown reason and, as such, will fail to click the URL you have slaved over and will forget to log in to send their RSVP. You’ll then receive whiney phone calls the week of your wedding asking for directions, dress code, parking details and gift protocol – all of which is on your website and they won’t have read.

2) Use blackmail.

“Please RSVP with your choice of menu or you won’t get fed” seems to work quite well. By adding in a reason for them to respond to you, they won’t be able to get away with the excuse that they psychically thought you knew what they wanted or that they would tell you when they see you.

3) Send prompts.

If you’ve requested RSVPs by a certain date, you could send round robin emails/texts to count down to the deadline for responses. If you tell your chap that you are orchestrating a Sky Sports News Deadline Day type of affair, I can guarantee they will jump onboard and start shouting at their mates in an over-excited Jim White voice.

4) Do all of the legwork yourself.

Make sure you list every method of communication by which your guests can respond, add an RSVP section to your invitation if your budget can stretch to it and go so far as to include the return address and stamp if need be!

5) Pick up the phone.

Put aside the niggling thought that you will be considered a nagging bridezilla and speak directly to the people who fail to get back to you. My preferred method is to shout and reprimand the hobbledehoy, but you may favour a calmer, more balanced approach to asking whether or not they intend to be at your wedding. Unfortunately, most of them won’t realise that you have quite a lot on your plate and that calling up deviant guests is the least of your priorities, so treat them kindly. And then refuse to give them any food at the wedding breakfast. (Kidding.)

Suffice to say, I have no sensible advice on this matter. I would go so far as publicly shaming MIA guests online, letting all my Facebook and Twitter pals know that they are tardy and ill-mannered, but you may wish to still have some friends by the time that you get married.

The thing to bear in mind is that there will always be one or two who won’t even think to respond. As long as you go into the invitation process knowing that you’ll have to chase them and can take a deep breath to assuage the rising rage, you will be fine. And one day, who knows, they might be planning a wedding and rue the day they ever left you waiting for an RSVP!

Image source: someecards

7 Responses to “Rounding up your RSVPs!!! Guest Post by Emma Woodhouse”

  1. funmi & adrian
    October 26, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    Sooo funny but so very true. Good luck to all your readers implementing the tips. Nova, how did you cope with this issue for your wedding?

    • Nu Bride
      October 26, 2012 at 6:12 pm #

      Emma is so brilliantly brilliant isn’t she!
      Me? Well it did not fill me with much joy let me tell you. We put in 3 easy methods for people to RSVP (wedding website, post and email), but alas, we still had to chase more than we received. The art of delegation to hubby and family members to chase people worked massively.

  2. Natalie Bea
    October 26, 2012 at 5:54 pm #

    Love this. I particular like ‘RSVP with your choice of menu or you won’t get fed.’ Genius. Xx

    • Nu Bride
      October 26, 2012 at 6:10 pm #

      Haha! I wish I would have thought of this one RSVP or you will get liver instead of chicken! Lol!

  3. Ashleigh
    October 29, 2012 at 2:54 pm #

    This is the bit I am dreading. We are having a menu choice so I am really hoping that might force people to respond but on the other hand it might make it more stressful than if they don’t.

    We are having a wedding website to save on sending out loads of info with the invites, how did yours work out for you?

    • Nu Bride
      October 29, 2012 at 8:26 pm #

      Hi Ashleigh, thank you for your comment!

      I think having menu choices will encourage people to RSVP , however there will always be some that don’t. Just have friends and family on hand and delegate to them to do the chasing so you don’t have to. 😉 helped me massively.

      We also have a wedding website which most guests find really helpful. We also sent paper info out for the elders not accustomed to modern technology yet! The website has been great for adding lots more info and was an easy way for guests to RSVP, but it didn’t prevent people from not responding or reading information properly. If you go in with the mindset that you will have to do
      Some chasing and delegate to friends and family it won’t be so bad. Promise. 🙂


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